Lots of different friends told me not to change anything for at least a year after the death of a spouse and they were right. Thirteen months, almost to the day. Today, I feel ready to move forward and open closed doors.
The past nine years have been interesting. Being a caregiver is never easy. Being a caregiver for your best friend /lover/life partner is another matter altogether.
The last days of his life were also the last days of my life, as I had known them for 41 years and slowly, slowly as his life changed, so did mine. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t alter any part of the process.
I‘m ready to live a life without my magnificent partner on this worldly stage called life. We were so different, Norman and I, and yet we danced well together.
It was an amazing experience to love and be loved by a man who in the very depth of his soul loved each moment of his existence. I am honored (although I didn’t know it at the time) to have had the intimate experience of being by his side and in the room to witness his slow journey off the planet. I eventually said yes to his dying at home and I’m glad I rose to the occasion because an occasion it was – filled with such a deep understanding of each other and lots of laughter at the folly of it all.
There is something to be said for doing the right thing. For me, it started when I said yes, even though my head screamed NO! I’m glad I listened to the quiet ‘yes’. It was filled with the right feeling and I knew deep inside, an opportunity of a lifetime.
So here I am, ready to get on with what keeps me healthy and happy – balancing a job that I created, with a life filled with friends, family, and good cheer.
Next Blog Post coming soon – Food for Thought: Plan B
Sit, stand, walk tall,